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Posts Tagged ‘opinion’

Move Along- the Best Option

Monday, February 3rd, 2014

city scene“Move along, you don’t fit in.” If you heard this when you were eight years old, you would be crushed. They don’t want you in their game or to be part of their club. Childhood is not a time when you want to stand out. Your most important goal is to fit in.

You’re not eight years old anyone. Are you still trying to fit in?

Super Bowl mania took over the airways this past weekend. Football fan or not, you had to watch it if only for those commercials, right? How could you face your friends and coworkers if you didn’t even know the final score?

How many things do you do because you feel like you have to? It’s expected…if you want to fit in.

 What if every choice you made was based only on your own opinion?

If no one else cared or would even ask if you watched the Super Bowl, would you still watch it? Or would you choose to spend your time doing something you really enjoy?

There are consequences for not fitting in. You move along- to something better. You enjoy YOUR life!

“People who cannot invent and reinvent themselves must be content with borrowed postures, secondhand ideas, fitting in instead of standing out.”  Warren G. Bennis

Unlimited Friendliness

Sunday, September 23rd, 2012

What's the best indicator of your opinion of yourself? Is it the car you drive? The brand of shoes you wear? The restaurants you frequent? All of those choices advertise how you want others to see you, as part of the "in" crowd.

The only accurate measure of how you see yourself has nothing to do with your possessions or your social status. It's a simpler measurement than the accumulation of things.

How you see yourself is in direct proportion to how you see other people.

Your self worth is reflected by the people around you and your own interaction with them. "You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with," is an often quoted assessment of how you are known by the company you keep.

Though true, I would expand that definition to include how you respond to those in your closest proximity. A wise friend once said about finding a mate, "I always observe how to treats his mother. If he loves and respects her as a woman, he will love and respect me as well."

I remembered and followed her advice will excellent results!

But what about how you see the other people around you?

Are you cynical of others?

Do you compare yourself to their accomplishments?

Is competition rather than collaboration your priority?

Whatever emotional filters you use to see other people, are the same ones that mirror back onto your own self image.

I heard a phrase today to describe a perfect plan for not only seeing the best in others but also to reflect what is best about yourself.

Unlimited friendliness.

Think about that. No matter who you come across, no matter what the interaction, if your first response is unlimited friendliness, that is the ultimate acceptance and honor of another person.

Be it your spouse, your children, neighbors, a store clerk, or a homeless person on the street, if you practice unlimited friendliness instead of posturing your position, you return to the root of who you really are. A human being in a universe created by love.

No outer trappings can improve on the human nature you already possess. No cynicism or comparison can make you more complete at the expense of another.

Unlimited friendliness, a smile, holding the door, letting someone go ahead of you in traffic, wishing a stranger Good Morning and meaning it.

Simple gestures of gracious humanity that show respect for others and demonstrate the ultimate love and respect you have for yourself. And the bonus becomes, the more you practice, the stronger that love becomes.

It's unlimited.


"Be friendly to everyone. Those who deserve it the least need it the most. "
Bo Bennett

Have You Changed Your Mind?

Friday, July 20th, 2012

Depending on your circle of friends, both virtual and face to face, the subject of politics is a reoccurring theme. Yes, it is an election year, so everyone has their point of view about the future direction of this country.

You are entitled to your opinion. It's a Constitutional guarantee that you may speak your mind. Exercise your rights. Rant if you want.

But you will most certainly not change anyone's mind. The more vehement your argument, the less likely you will find a receptive audience.

It's the peculiarity of our human mind. We do not want to be told what to believe. Once we establish our values and beliefs from our early upbringing, they tend to stay ingrained in our psyches.

Interestingly, we can be influenced to consider another point of view. The most charismatic leaders of our time were masters of capturing our attention and making us question long held beliefs.

How did they do that? 

Take a lesson from Dale Carnegie called Feel, Felt, Found to establish empathy and influence.

"I understand how you feel. Others have felt the same way. This is what they have found."

As the rhetoric flies in the coming months, let's see if anyone is able to grab your attention and change your mind.

"If you never change your mind, why have one?"
Edward de Bono

Tell Me More

Mary Ellen Lapp reveals how the colors we wear, and the colors that surround us, even the color of the car we drive, impact out self image and affects how we are seen by the people around us.

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